Before having my son, I found myself constantly searching online for all of the things I needed to do to prepare for the baby. I’d then feel overwhelmed and nervous that I would forget something and be unprepared after reading lists that gave me 35 things (35 THINGS! WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?!) I needed to be doing that instant or all hell would break loose. I’m here to tell ya - don’t stress mama. Most of those things are extra and unnecessary. Below I’ve compiled a list of 5 things I shouldn’t have wasted my time and energy on, and then 5 things I should’ve actually been spending my time and energy on. Let us know in the comments below if you have anything you’d add to either list!
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Why didn’t anybody tell me how hard the first few weeks of motherhood would be? Why didn’t they tell me I would be so overwhelmed with emotion that I would cry for apparently no reason? Why didn’t they tell me I would resent my new schedule of feeding the baby all day, every day? And why didn’t they tell me I would miss my old life, but feel guilty about it?
Or maybe they did.
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We were on week 40, day 6 of pregnancy. It was a Friday morning and my husband and I had woken up for the day just like every other day. I was still working (I work remotely) so I just had to drag my (what felt like huge) body into the kitchen to turn on my laptop, check my emails, and make sure everything was still set and organized for whenever maternity leave would officially start (aka whenever the baby decided to make his debut). My induction was set for 40+10 (my OB wouldn’t let me go longer than that) - so I knew I’d be having him within the week if he didn’t come on his own sooner. My OB also insisted that I head in for a non-stress test that day - just to make sure his heart rate was in a healthy range and that he didn’t seem to be under any stress. The well-meaning texts from friends and family were still coming in - “IS HE HERE YET?!” and “Are you STILL pregnant?”...”YES,” I wanted to scream. “I am still pregnant.”
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We always knew a c-section was a possibility and we were 100% okay with that option if it was necessary...as long as the baby was safe, healthy, and delivered in the way that was best for the baby and myself. What I didn’t realize until after I gave birth was how many people there are with very negative (and frankly awful) things to say about c-sections and even the women that have them. Some even say it’s the “easy way out.” When it is a medical decision and all you want to do is welcome your baby in the best way, does it really matter how they enter the world?!
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After I had my first baby almost 6 years ago, I was sad when I had to take her to daycare, but I guess I just accepted it. This time around, I really struggled. Was it because I knew this would be my last maternity leave ever? Was it the fact that my baby screamed whenever I wasn’t holding her? Or was it my raging hormones following my c-section? Whatever the reason, returning to life with a new baby as a working mom is beyond challenging.
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